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The Red Carpet Rules

by Melody Ross

If you are doing work with me, there is a level of community commitment that is expected. Whether you and I are working together one-on-one, meeting with others in a Facebook Group, or meeting in person as a group at a live event – this is the conduct of behavior that is expected.

I’m a pretty chill-out, low-key person, but this is one area that I hold strict adherence to and expect the same from others. Over the last few decades, I have learned that following these guidelines is essential to creating the kind of environment needed to do deep soul work. I think after reading these rules, you will feel the same way.

You will find that even in my writing, I try to keep these rules whenever possible. So if you are ever wondering why I don’t talk and write about certain issues and put a big focus on other issues, these rules will explain.


1. We are here to see each other as souls, no other labels are to be attached.  This means we don’t see ourselves by anything but who we are under our skin and bones…we don’t focus on or see each other by our income level, our age, our body size, our career, our successes and failures, our talents or weaknesses. We simply see each other as a fellow soul who is here to learn, grow and become. Doesn’t that feel good?

2. In any place that we are together as a group, whether online or in person, we commit to avoiding talking about politics, religion, sexuality, ethnicity, body image or anything potentially controversial that could divide us or hurt another. There are many other places to do this in the world, this is just not one of those places. We want everyone to feel safe and accepted and not judged or in fear in any way. We are a very diverse group and we meet each other where we are the same…on a soul level.

3. We include everyone who is willing to abide by these red carpet rules. We look out for anyone who may be alone and welcome them into the circle. We look out for each other.

4. We each take personal responsibility for our own experience through life and in our soul work. We don’t take things personally or take offense, we give each other grace and assume the best about each other. We each figure out what it is that we need and we find that for ourselves or ask for what we need when we can’t find it for ourselves. We don’t give others the responsibility of making sure we have a great experience, we take responsibility for ourselves.

5. We don’t give advice. We focus on solutions and only share our own stories from our own experiences. We do not use this as a space to complain about or criticize or condemn ourselves, our lives or other’s lives. When we share our life struggles, we focus on the solutions we are seeking for them and we do not expect advice from others. We encourage each other, lift each other up and remind each other that we all have the ability to figure out our lives for ourselves. We share stories from our own experiences, but we never give advice. A good answer, rather than advice, to our fellow soul journeyers is…”I know you’re going to figure this out, keep seeking, I am rooting for you”

6. We watch our language and the photos that we post…we are diverse in age and there are young ones around looking to us.

7. We make things joyful, fun and amazing. We stay present and focused on soul work. We make this a place to rest from the heaviness and division of the world.

8. We treat each other the way that we ourselves want to be treated. We are kind, compassionate and respectful. We forgive each other. We want the best for each other.

9. We don’t gossip here. We don’t bash others. We focus on our own soul work.

10. We are mindful about how many others are in this group and we are careful to not over-post either photos or words, to post things in the places designated for them and relevant to this experience, and we don’t compare or count “likes” or use them to measure our value or importance. We are all valued, beloved and important. No one better or worse than anyone else.

11. When online together, we give our moderator permission to lovingly remove posts that do not follow these guidelines, permission to reach out to us individually if these rules are not kept, and permission to lovingly remove members who find that this group is not a good match for them because of these rules. No hard feelings, sometimes things are just not a good match.

12.We do all that we can to make sure that this is a safe and loving place for everyone, knowing that we each must take responsibility for our own moods, emotions and perceptions… and that we must allow others to take responsibility for theirs.

13. We each do our best always and assume with l love that others are also doing their best.

14. If anyone ever finds that this place with these rules is not a good match for them, we allow them to move on from here on their life journey and wish them well with no hard feelings.


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