Just in case you forgot….you get to decide how close others are allowed into your heart and into your life. You are worth protecting in very careful and well thought out ways and you are the only one who can make and enforce your own boundaries.
You get to decide how others are allowed to treat you and what the consequences are if those boundaries are crossed. You get to decide who gets to be in on the most important parts of your life, and how close they are allowed to get to those parts of your life. You get to decide how much effect the opinions of others will have on your decisions and your feelings. You get to decide what kind of behavior is allowed by others if they want to be close to you. OTHERS get to decide whether they are willing to keep your boundaries or not…but YOU get to decide what those boundaries are.
Now, amazing friend….a hard part of this is that once you decide what your boundaries are…YOU must be the one to enforce them. Another hard part of this is that you have to decide which people in your life get which boundaries. Our children will have different boundaries than our friends. Our parents may have different boundaries than our coworkers….but we must all do the work of figuring out how to keep our souls and our minds and our lives safe….and then we must be brave enough to enforce those boundaries.
A good way to start is to think of the relationships in your life and think about how you are treated in the places where you are weak….and how you are treated in the places where you are powerful. The people who are safest to have closest in our lives and hearts are those who protect us, cover us and give us grace where we are weak and who celebrate us, empower us and remind us where we are strong. The relationships that require strict and strong boundaries are those who exploit us, make fun of us and hurt us where we are weak…and punish us, guilt us and try to squash where we are powerful. We want to be with those who want our lights to shine as bright as possible.
You are worth protecting….and it is your right to do so. YOU GET TO DECIDE and dear girl, YOU MUST. Spend time where you are celebrated and not just tolerated…and protect yourself where you are chipped away at, always. SHINE BRIGHT!!!! The world needs your brightest light and that is who you are intended to be.
You are so very very very loved.