Dear Trying-Hard Soul,
All of us have felt the sting of assumption . . . having someone else assume something about us. That hurts, doesn’t it, friend?
But that’s not where the hurt of assumption stops. When we ourselves assume something negative, it hurts us too . . . because then we start to worry and make up all sorts of stories in our heads about what we are assuming . . . and then we start making decisions around that assumption and assuming other things.
Before we know it, we have made an assumption into a fact . . . and we have caused so much suffering in our own lives, hearts, and minds. We can also hurt others deeply when we assume.
So how can we break the habit of assuming? Well, we need to first give ourselves some grace and forgiveness as we admit that we have been assuming. Then, we need to tell ourselves that we want to stop . . . and why. We may want to stop because we are tired of all of the energy it is stealing from our lives to assume something. We may want to stop because we have realized that often our assumptions do not turn out to be fact. We may want to stop because something has been assumed about us, and it hurt, and we don’t ever want to do that to someone else.
Assuming the worst is not ever a good idea. This doesn’t mean that we don’t prepare for the most difficult things . . . it just means that we don’t decide ahead of time the worst thing is going to happen . . . because then we are also not preparing for the good things, or even seeing them.
Assuming the best, or assuming perfection can also make us suffer . . . because then we are constantly feeling disappointed in ourselves and others. We need to remind ourselves that no matter what happens, we have the ability to handle it. We need to remind ourselves that the best thing we can do is to keep on living in the best ways we know how . . . spreading love and joy and telling the truth . . . and standing up for those who cannot stand up for themselves. We need to just keep going while we see how things pan out. We need to remind ourselves that everyone is doing the best they can . . . and the very best thing we can do to help the world and help our own lives is to continue to do the best we can do . . . no matter what comes along in life.
You are beloved. You are important. No matter how things turn out, this will never cease to be true. Keep doing the best you can.
You really are so very loved,